I was thinking the other day about my good friends, whom I appreciate so much! And then… (that “voice in my head” asked…) Why are those particular people my friends, and the many other people I’ve met NOT my friends?
I like most of the people I meet, but that doesn’t put them my friend category. My friend list is short but selective.
So I started wondering…. was there something my friends have in common? Do I pick people who are just like me? Or do I pick people who are DIFFERENT from me… to get balance?
Or maybe I don’t pick my friends, they pick me.? (Who would pick me? And why?)
Or — the third explanation — there is no “picking of friends” at all; just random circumstances that throw us together and somehow we stick.
Friends are like sticky notes you walk around with in your life, attached to your body everywhere you go.
I haven’t answered this question of how friends become friends. But I do know that mine come in all sizes, all ages, all temperaments, all income levels, all degrees of extro-vertedness and intro-vertedness. I do know that the “horse-theme” runs through many of their lives, giving us something very significant in common. But I have two very good friends who have never owned a horse in their lives. And never wanted to and never plan to. Go figure.
The final question is: Do introverts need friends at all?
YES, YES and YES!
To justify friendship in purely selfish terms, my friends get my brain off of myself and my problems. They remind me that other people have lives, have problems, view the world in different ways, and are joyous even when I am down. Ot they are down when I have had a great day. Their presence invades my brain like a wave of water, and re-directs my thoughts to “the other” rather than just ME ME ME.
I need that.